Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
