Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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