i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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