I murdered the dance floor call the cops
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
