She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
