Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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