Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
