Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
