Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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