Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
