I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
