theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
