there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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