you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
