Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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