I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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