He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
