he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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