And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
