grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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