I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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