just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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