And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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