ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
