Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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