our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize