i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize