Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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