He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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