God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
