So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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