My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
