Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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