It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
