u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
