My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What a dumb baby whore.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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