just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
