I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
