3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
