Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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