Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
