My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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