you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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