I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
operation have a gay friend backfired
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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