she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
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KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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