He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize