I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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