Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
