Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
