just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
