How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize