Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
