And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
