MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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