I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
