Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize