Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
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I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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