Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower

  (571): View more from Virginia

  She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task

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  (540): Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower (571): She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task http://tfl.nu/xi7t
  Replies (11) Good night (2922) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.

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  (253): I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels. http://tfl.nu/jjfn
  Replies (13) Good night (4880) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.

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  (410): After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out. http://tfl.nu/7wcs
  Replies (16) Good night (932) Bad night (3182)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet

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  (661): a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet http://tfl.nu/xcx4
  Replies (36) Good night (3982) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.

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  (407): It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it. http://tfl.nu/o8fq
  Replies (27) Good night (1052) Bad night (7091)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.

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  (801): I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion. http://tfl.nu/ntse
  Replies (28) Good night (11131) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.

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  (508): He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/n1jt
  Replies (2) Good night (3783) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

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  (214): One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair. http://tfl.nu/h2x0
  Replies (5) Good night (2764) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's got a legit dose of dude going on

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.

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  (240): Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden (202): She's got a legit dose of dude going on (240): No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne. http://tfl.nu/qro2
  Replies (7) Good night (993) Bad night (1873)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision

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  (712): Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision http://tfl.nu/by7d
  Replies (9) Good night (1625) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought

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  (914): Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought http://tfl.nu/0bwp
  Replies (9) Good night (1421) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.

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  (504): Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch. http://tfl.nu/bzb1
  Replies (5) Good night (1494) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

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  (210): Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it. http://tfl.nu/gvf3
  Replies (8) Good night (629) Bad night (1183)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas

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  (780): I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas http://tfl.nu/5l5x
  Replies (6) Good night (607) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder

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  (845): I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder http://tfl.nu/kklv
  Replies (1) Good night (207) Bad night (565)

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