I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.