Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table. http://tfl.nu/utxl
  Replies (3) Good night (1530) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1riw
  Replies (21) Good night (905) Bad night (1605)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/zu80
  Replies (9) Good night (1819) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad. http://tfl.nu/cg55
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/yo38
  Replies (6) Good night (501) Bad night (2486)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line. http://tfl.nu/pkvq
  Replies (6) Good night (634) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day. http://tfl.nu/ga2m
  Replies (5) Good night (1007) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave http://tfl.nu/c1xk
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up? http://tfl.nu/qcgq
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  An artistic expression of her stupidity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding? (1-919): An artistic expression of her stupidity. http://tfl.nu/majp
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause http://tfl.nu/iz9t
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor. http://tfl.nu/tgic
  Replies (1) Good night (354) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/rj7n
  Replies (7) Good night (827) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ulnv
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (264)

Randomize