I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?