dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.