The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
