I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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