my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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