it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
