dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
