Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
