oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
