You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
